Polkadot was adopted, but has been returned by the adopter, so Marina is putting her up for adoption again. If interested, please contact Marina at her email address below.
We also wish to share with everyone that by nature, cats are loners and can be very defensive and protective of themselves. Hence, to “expect” a cat to integrate and make friends with other cats, in a way, is rather unfair to the cat, as cats are not social animals to begin with.
Here’s where anthropomorphising the cat does NOT help the cat or the human. We cannot expect a cat to behave like a human or even like a dog. Dogs, descended from wolves, are more social in nature as they live in packs.
“Every cat for himself/herself” seems to ring true for the felines, no offence to the cat, of course. That’s just the way they are, by nature, and it’s best we accept them as they are since we have chosen to bring them into our lives and our homes.
Here is a paragraph from Cat Sense (John Bradshaw, 2013, p. 4):
Cats have yet to evolve the optimistic enthusiasm for contact with their own kind that characterizes dogs. As a result, many cats spend their lives trying to avoid contact with one another. All the while, their owners inadvertently compel them to live with cats they have no reason to trust – whether the neighbours’ cats, or the second cat obtained by the owner to ‘keep him company’. As their popularity increases, so inevitably does the number of cats that each cat is forced into contact with, thereby increasing the tensions that each experiences. Finding it ever harder to avoid social conflict, many cats find it nearly impossible to relax; the stress they experience affects their behaviour and even their health.
The above explains why my 7 inside cats are not “friends” with each other and why they they need their 1m-radius from each other. Cats who are super alpha (like my seven) need space to feel safe (from each other). Intuiting from the above write-up by Bradshaw, who has done decades of research on cat behaviour and cat science, it may be true that some cats will never feel safe being with other cats in a confined space (such as a cage) and this could contribute to their “unexplained” illnesses, which may be caused by stress and is mental in nature.
On the lighter side, the above behaviour is demonstrated in certain humans too, isn’t it? Me, included! I get SO incredibly stressed if I have to make small (to me, often meaningless) talk with other humans. Hence, I dread, no, make that FEAR….yes, I fear social gatherings where I am compelled to attend, and where I cannot be of useful service to anyone except to smile and make small talk. That is my greatest fear in life. Maybe that is why I can understand and readily accept cats as they are!
And if cats find it hard to integrate or accept the presence of other cats, imagine how much more stressed they would be if approached by humans who are strange and unfamiliar to them. Here’s where I am very often misunderstood. Adults write to me saying that they want to bring their children to visit my cats. I have to tell them politely that all my patio cats will run helter-skelter the moment they sense any strange human approaching within a 10m radius of my house AND my poor inside cats (because they are confined) will be so freaked out, Cleo will run to the furthest part of the back garden or hide behind the washing machine, Pole will jump onto the ledge, Indy will hide behind the door, etc. Maybe only Cow will be around and he bites, unannounced, and there is nothing I can do about it as he may bite me too. And are your children allergic to cats, and have they had their tetanus jabs, I ask, out of a genuine concern? By then, I will already be misunderstood as being anti-social and unfriendly, so maybe I should just spare myself all the explanation and say, “Why don’t you take your children to PAWS? My cats bite, and I worry for your children’s safety.”
Sorry for digressing, but it is a very REAL problem for me.
Here’s Marina’s email:
From: Marina M <marinarocm@yahoo.com>
Date: Wed, Sep 18, 2013 at 7:15 PM
Subject: Polkadot ( PD for short)
To: “chankahyein@gmail.com” <chankahyein@gmail.com>Dear Dr Chan,
Regret to inform it did not work out with earlier potential adopter. I sent PD to the adopter place on monday noon but last nite she was returned to me…I hope there will be someone willing to adopt PD & able to give her time to adjust accordingly.
Suggest PD to be separated from other cats (if any) atleast 2 weeks..Then slowly intergrate with other cats..
Miracles can happen…Just like PD..
regards,
Marina
Comments
4 responses to “Polkadot returned, up for adoption again (Marina Mustapha’s)”
Very surprise to know you feel that way (uncomfortable) in social gatherings despite your exposure in public talks. Must have plucked up a lot of guts initially to speak in front of strangers especially if you are a homely person.
Ahh…but you must read what I wrote again. I fear social gatherings where I cannot be of useful service to anyone. I do not fear giving public talks because at least that’s useful (or I hope it is, else they wouldn’t keep inviting me to deliver talks!). After all, I teach for a living. I cannot possibly fear speaking in public – that IS my ricebowl. And I hope I am not homely. I’m just home-loving. There is a difference between the two. 🙂
Haha same goes for me, too. I’ve friends who wanted to visit my cats. This is because of my Facebook status posting about my cats and probably from their cute photos. One friend just flew in from UK and she emailed me asking to visit my cats. I have to explain to her that my cats are not friendly to humans – they’d run and hide. I did worry if I had appeared to be inhospitable to her request. So, I’m not the only one with anti-social cats.
On the other hand, may Polka Dot find a loving home. She’s such a beauty!
Poor PD I do hope she gets adopted. She is so beautiful. I agree with you a cat is diff from a dog. They are to each its own, Very seldom we get them to be very attached to each other even from same liter. I had the preveliege to have a pair of “twins” I called them as could hardly be able to identify them till I colour the hair of one of them as one of them Apple will ask for double helpings and later she was fater than Abby could we tell them apart. Both sister will always be together. Just sad we lost Apple resently. (could only guess it was an accident.)