This is another funny story related to my recovery process. It’s a long story, so it is only for those who are interested in it.
On the last day of my hospitalisation, I developed diarrhoea. First I thought it was because I had overdosed on raw salads. Lately, at this age, I realised that my stomach doesn’t digest raw vegetables so well, so I’ve been eating cooked vegetables instead (similarly some elderly cats also don’t do well on raw food, they might need cooked food). So I thought it was due to that. But I also quickly checked and yes, the IV-Tazocin may cause diarrhoea. At least there is a reason. The diarrhoea wasn’t exactly “serious”, and I decided not to tell the specialist lest he won’t let me go home. Disclaimer: Please don’t do this.
My go-to 100% successful solution for diarrhoea is cold Coca Cola which at other times, I would not touch with a ten-foot pole (it’s laden with sugar). This was what I learnt as a teenager back in Kuala Kangsar. Our renowned doctor there recommended it. It has worked for me for decades. None of the other home remedies work for me. It just has to be cold Coca Cola with the fizz. Disclaimer: It may not work for you.
So I was discharged (happiness!!) and I went home. Now, I needed to solve the diarrhoea and I was undecided. What if the Coca Cola interfered with my antibiotics? You see, I’m now paranoid. I know I need these antibiotics to get well and prevent a relapse. So, every dose is important and must be on time. I know how antibiotics work, they teach you that in Form Five Biology. And of course my vets remind me of that all the time too. Also, if Coca Cola can clean toilets and car carburetors, it might “clean off” the antibiotics from my system.
So I refrained from taking the Coke until past midnight when the diarrhoea was going on nonstop. I then decided to take half a bottle. My full dose is one bottle with the fizz. Now, did the half bottle work? A little, but didn’t resolve the diarrhoea.
By then, I had just started on my first dose of Augmentin. That’s the oral antibiotic that will replace the IV-Tazocin. The diarrhoea continued. Not very serious, but it’s there.
That night I also took my other medication.
The next morning, during one of the toilet trips, I found a “tablet” in my diarrhoea excrement. Now, what’s this “poop tablet” doing there, I thought. Or is it some food I’d eaten. I gave it no further thought and flushed it away. Ignorance is bliss.
This was Tuesday (yesterday). By evening, I had another round of diarrhoea (well, it’s all day, anyway) and there it was again – that poop tablet floating in the toilet bowl. This time, I just had to investigate. So I took an old toothbrush and fished it out. Then I took a good look at it.
Oh no….it really is a “tablet”. My first thought was that it’s the Augmentin because it definitely looked like a shrunken Augmentin. It’s the same shape, just smaller and flatter. Oh no, oh no, my stomach cannot metabolise the Augmentin and I’m passing it out, or half of it out. Then, I won’t be getting enough of the antibiotics and the superbugs are going to come back with a vengeance and kill me this time.
No, I’m not going to let that happen.
So, I called my pharmacist and first asked him if Augmentin can cause diarrhoea. He said yes, it’s so very common. In fact, it is stated on the insert. Ok, at least now I know my diarrhoea is Augmentin-induced. I can stop blaming the raw salads and stop investigating further. I’d just have to live with the diarrhoea and finish off the whole course of the Augmentin. In fact, I already stopped eating all vegetables that day and started a food elimination protocol to eliminate the suspects. Because of this, I’d already lost 1kg. I don’t think I need to lose anymore weight.
Next, I told him that I’m actually passing out half of the Augmentin tablet. He immediately sprung into action to help me. My questions to him was, should I pound the Augmentin instead of swallowing it whole? Since my stomach cannot metabolise it, maybe I should pound it? But he said no, because the insert says it cannot be chewed. If it cannot be chewed, it cannot be pounded. But it can be halved. This I know, because there is a line in the middle of the tablet. So, should I cut it into half and swallow both halves the next round and hope the metabolism is better? He said yes.
But then, he had another thought. What if the medicine is actually contained in a “matrix” and when you swallow it, the medicine comes out through tiny holes from the matrix into your stomach and then you pass out the empty “matrix” after that? Hmm…that’s possible too. That would be like squeezing santan out of a bag of coconut scrapings and you take the santan and discard the bag, you know what I mean? But nothing on the insert says it has a sustained release function too.
The plot thickens.
But my pharmacist did remark that he’s never heard of people who check their poop for its contents. I’m the first one.
(Note: I check my cats’ poop every single day and even take photos of them when monitoring is required.)
At the same time, I had also called the hospital with the hope of being able to catch the specialist if he happened to be on call but he was not. But then again, doctors don’t know how medicines behave, you got to ask the pharmacist or the drug manufacturer. Doctors just know what medicine to prescribe. The hospital said the only way is to come to Emergency and they will TRY to call my specialist. Hmm…Emergency again? Er…no thanks. I had just settled an astronomical hospital bill where the bulk of the charges were from Emergency. If I may digress here, there was even a charge of RM80 for a “blue stretcher cover”. I asked the kakak, kenapa ada charge ini, I was never on a stretcher at all. She said, “pasal bila dorang ambil swab, kita kena letak cover ni, ikut SOP”. Oh I see. In fact, the specialist’s charges were so ridiculously low, I think he deserved more. After all, wasn’t it he who saved my life? Certainly not the “blue stretcher cover”, but then again, what can you do about it? You needed the hospital and a private hospital is a business enterprise. So as long as you saved my life, I’ll pay you. I’d rather pay the hospital than those moron GPs who messed me up.
Back to my poop tablet story now (sorry I digressed):
If I’m passing out the Augmentin tablet, this is a huge problem!! I’m not getting the full dosage.
So, for my next dose of Augmentin, as planned, I cut the tablet into half and swallowed both halves. Now, let’s wait to see two flattened halves in my next poop.
I waited.
Horrors of horrors….you won’t believe what happened!!!
I passed out another whole tablet!!
WHAT???
I already cut it into two halves, how did it become one whole thing again??? No, no, I’m in the Twilight Zone here. Something is simply not right.
I started to think…..
By then, my husband had got hold of the first “poop tablet” and was looking at it with a magnifying glass. He saw numbers on it.
Numbers??
But Augmentin only has letters on the tablet. Not numbers.
Hey wait…is this another tablet???
So I dug through my medication and true enough, Telfast-D is the exact size of the poop tablet and has numbers on it! I hadn’t thought of Telfast-D as it’s not an “important” medication, to be used only when necessary. I don’t even recall having taken it earlier. It’s a sidekick, you know what I mean? The antibiotics are the superheroes. Like Batman and Robin.
Hah!!! It’s not Augmentin that I’m passing out but Telfast-D, the sidekick medicine for blocked nose.
Wow…what a relief!!
So, I am getting the full dose of the Augmentin after all. Phew….
I could now heave a sigh of relief.
But husband said we had to be sure. So we decided to sacrifice one tablet of Telfast-D for our experiment. The tablet has two parts, one white and one light brown. We took it and dropped it into water. True enough, it immediately started to fizzle and all the white part disappeared within minutes. What was left was the light brown part and YES, it had those exact numbers on it. It was the same size and colour as the poop tablet!!!
I had taken two Telfast-D tablets that day and that is why I passed out two intact poop tablets!!
Mystery solved!!!!
I quickly texted my pharmacist to let him know. He sent back a laughing emoji. 😂
For those of you who are totally and completely confused about the whole story, perhaps these photos would help.
Warning: There is a graphic image of a poop tablet which may be disturbing to certain viewers. Viewer discretion is recommended.
This is a Telfast-D tablet. It has two parts, the white and the light brown. This is a sustained-release tablet. It is manufactured this way such that the white part contains the medicine and the light brown part is just a “vessel”.
We placed it in water and the white part quickly fizzled out leaving only the light brown part intact. Using a magnifying glass, we saw numbers on it.
This is one of my poop tablets. It had the exact numbers on it too.
Hope you enjoyed the story! I will not be calling the specialist today, I think he won’t know how it works and I might confuse him unnecessarily. After all, as my pharmacist said, “WHO bothers to examine what is in their poop?? Only you.”