Who is the very strict cili padi who scolds people?
A few weeks ago, a friend told me how the Chinese-speaking animal community perceives me. Apparently, I’m known as a “very strict cili padi who scolds people”.
Hmm…I take “very strict” as a compliment, actually. Of course I have to be very strict. I’m handling donors’ donations given in full trust that we will only use it as per our policies. I have to be very strict too because after 13 years of doing this, I’ve encountered enough cheaters and dishonest people. Also, the 34 years of being a teacher has made me very strict, that is absolutely true.
But the sad thing is that, word gets around and among the Chinese-speaking community, they say that it is “very difficult” to get the aid because they have to deal with this very strict cili padi who scolds people. So the advice out there among them is, “Don’t even bother, she will scold you.” or “No need to try one, sure cannot get.” Well, to the person who told me all this, I asked her if I had ever scolded her and isn’t she getting so much aid from us now. She said yes, she is getting our aid now and more help than expected. So I said, if the Chinese-speaking community wants to believe that rumour and not try to apply for our aid themselves, then that is totally their decision. It isn’t my fault. My conscience is clear.
So, me a cili padi? Me? I don’t know. But I think I know why the Chinese-speaking community don’t particularly like me. It is because I don’t speak Mandarin and I don’t write Chinese. I only speak and write English and Bahasa Malaysia and lately, I use Google Translate to translate whatever I write into Chinese for them. It’s all due to miscommunication when I write in English or BM.
I’ll give you a good example. Some years back, we told one of the Chinese-speaking applicants (she writes pretty good English) that her limit had been reached and we could no longer give her anymore aid and I ended the email with this: We wish you all the best for your future endeavours. She was furious and shot back at me saying “all the best” was sarcastic. Huh? I was shocked but that’s the problem with miscommunication. I meant the “all the best” with the utmost sincerity as I wanted to wish her all the very best. But it was misconstrued.
I know all about this language problem because ironically, all my teaching career has been about teaching Chinese-speaking students from the middle-income group, so I know all about their culture. When I say “their culture”, I mean the culture of the Chinese-speaking community. It is different from the Banana-Chinese, to which I belong. Even if one day I were to learn to speak Mandarin, it doesn’t change me for who I am, I will always be, culturally, a Banana-Chinese. It is a totally different culture altogether. We go back a few generations as Bananas. Even my grandparents were Bananas who served the country as civil servants. I did not grow up in a Chinese majority community, I grew up in Kuala Kangsar, a predominantly Malay community.
So now, I’m a very strict cili padi who scolds people. Okay, very strict or even cili padi are acceptable. No problems, but I scold people?
I have not even “scolded” the cheaters before. We just tell them nicely, “I’m sorry we are not able to help you anymore as you have not fulfilled our policy requirements”. Is that scolding? Maybe to them, it is. I remember that often when the Chinese-speaking applicants do not qualify for our aid, they will scold me. I’ve faced a lot of such scoldings. It is all written in Chinese and I’ll get my husband to read it and explain it to me. Ouch, it is definitely a scolding.
But let me tell you something, though. I am still very afraid of hostile people, and I am also very, very, very afraid of the Chinese-speaking people. Yes, I am very afraid of them. Maybe because I know I will never be able to communicate eloquently with them and am unable to express myself properly to make them understand what exactly I mean. And this will lead to so much misunderstandings. It is largely a communication problem. I wish there was an universal language which every human being speaks. Esperanto was supposed to be one. It just never took off.
Oh, this brings to mind many years ago when we had to deal with a hoarder in Ipoh. She only spoke Chinese. I know it’s all my fault because I was trying to speak with her in the best Cantonese I know. But I made a mistake by saying “khau” instead of “yiu khau”. Now, “khau” means “beg” while “yiu khau” means “request”. I wanted to say, “It was you who requested our help” but instead, because of using the word wrong, it came across as, “It was you who begged us for our help.” Gosh, I used that one wrong word and she jumped on that and I had an earful from her which went from her to others and it was a total disaster. Yes, it was totally my fault, I admit. My mother tongue is a mix of Cantonese and English. So my Cantonese isn’t good enough. I definitely express myself better in English and BM. I cannot even understand proper Hongkee Cantonese – that’s so high class.
I also remember that when I first started animal and I recall precisely where I was when this conversation took place. I was in a clinic in Klang, seeing to a rescued dog. I met someone senior in the animal community (not a Chinese person), and she told me, “If you are long enough in this community, you will become a very bitter person.”
At that time, I didn’t think that would ever be possible.
Am I bitter now? No, honestly, I am not bitter. I’m still reasonably happy. Actually, I am still very happy, dealing with new applicants, getting more people to join in to help animals. So no, I can tell you honestly, I’m not bitter. If I were, what’s to stop me from closing AnimalCare, right? It’s very easy to close AnimalCare because we have no animals, we are not a shelter. We are only giving supportive service in financial aid and guidance.
In fact, I’ve even found Joy and Terry and formed the Tag Team to take over AnimalCare when I’m gone or incapacitated.
So, no, I’m not at all bitter.
But I am tickled as this is the first time I hear myself being called a cili padi!
Signing off now, from yours truly, the Cili Padi.
Hahaha…