The story of difficult (challenging?) humans

I once gave a talk on “Dealing with Difficult Humans” and was told by a member of the audience that in the first place, perhaps we should never label people as “difficult” because that already gives them a negative connotation. Point taken.


So can I call them “challenging” humans instead, or perhaps, humans who have been sent to earth by some higher force to teach me patience?  


As most people doing animal charity work will attest to, animals are never the problem, it’s always the humans. Yet, in the process of wanting to help the animals, we inevitably have to deal with the humans who bring them in, so while some think they can escape from challenging humans by doing animal charity, sorry to say, we cannot. 


I deal with challenging humans ALL the time, on a daily basis. Considering the fact that my mailbox fills up every day and that I have to delete smses every day or my hp fills up its memory space, this is not surprising. If one day passes by where I don’t encounter a challenging human, I give thanks to the sun, the moon, the law of gravity, the law of cause-and-effect and what have yous that govern this universe. Whoever I can thank for the divine intervention in keeping challenging humans at bay, I will kneel and bow down low and thank him/her/it with all my heart and soul.


So, here’s yesterday’s story of challenging humans….


There were two of them (this is only yesterday’s story, not the day before, or before that, just yesterday only)


Case No: 1
This elderly uncle wanted me to get him an appointment to spay one of the strays he’s been feeding. He had done this before, many moons ago. And during that previous moon, I had sent him an sms saying, “Appt set, please bring in your female cat, fasted at (time stated) to (clinic stated)”. Even at that time, he was already extremely challenging. He did not send me a photograph of the cat citing computer illiteracy. Get your child to help you? He insisted I had to lend him a cage, else, “How do you expect me to bring the cat??”. The appointment was made, but he did not turn up and also did not even inform me. 


A next appointment was made and the cat was finally spayed. But when the cat was ready for collection, the clinic called him and he denied having sent any cat to the clinic. All this was reported back to me and I had half a mind to blacklist him. For the sake of the cats, I did not. 


Note: We blacklist people who do not turn up for appointments with no valid reason, who don’t even bother informing me or the vet. These people have no consideration for the vets and the animal. They only think of themselves and their own convenience. They do not care that the slot allocated to them has been wasted and another animal has been deprived of that time slot. 


I thought I’d never hear from him again and prayed hard, but NO, the divine forces decided I needed to cultivate more patience, so he contacted me again, two days ago, this time through his son. His son sent a photo of the cat at night, and wrote that his father wanted an appointment to get the cat spayed. I replied saying an appointment has to be made first and requested that his father contact me by sms the next day. Please do not call, I’m in class.  Sms only, pls.


The next day, the elderly uncle CALLS. Yes, he MUST call. I was in the class, so I did not take his call. I texted to ask him to sms me. And he did. 


You cannot even guess what was in the sms.


Three guesses…and I’ll bet you’ll get it wrong.


He forwarded my old sms sent moons ago where I had fixed the appointment for his previous cat and said, based on that sms, he is going to bring the cat tomorrow to the same vet. Never mind whether I had made appointment for this time or not, he doesn’t care. He’s bringing the cat tomorrow and that’s that.


See….I told you you’d never guess it right, right?


This was a bit too much for me to bear, especially when I was having lunch after a long day at work.


I called him back.


Yes, elderly or not elderly, I don’t care, folks. Age is no excuse for bad behaviour. Respect has to be earned, not demanded for just because one has grey hair and wrinkles.   


I told him off.


THEN, he complained that the last time he sent his cat to our vet, the vet only performed the surgery at 4pm. The poor cat had starved (his words) for so long. I told him the vet knows what to do to ensure that the cat will not suffer undue stress. The surgery was over by 4.30pm and the cat was ready for pick-up by 5pm. Since he complained so much, I told him he might as well bring his (present) cat to his own vet and not use our vet anymore. 


He said fine, but we’d have to pay because he wants it free.


Hello, Uncle, I said. Nothing is free. Even at our panel vet, it’s NOT free.  WE PAY.  


I said we’re not paying at other vets. Please get it done yourself since you complain so much.  


But no, he insisted that he wants it FREE (“This is not even my cat, it’s just a stray!”) so he would bring to our vet.


Stop saying it’s free, Uncle, I said. We raise funds to pay the vet. It is NOT FREE!


Then, he complains AGAIN that our vet would make the cat “starve” until 4pm, but what to do, since he wanted it FREE, he said. Yup, you want people to pay for you, and yet you want to complain.  


Do you know, for my 6 rescued cats and the rest I’ve fostered, I have never asked for rescue rate at our panel vets.  I pay the full rate with my own money, and even then, I had to wait until 7pm for some of them because there were emergencies at the vet’s and spay-neuter would just have to wait. Charity rate, full rate, if you have to wait, you’d just have to wait and trust that the vet knows what he or she is doing. 


So, today, Uncle Elderly will bring his cat (oops, I mean, the stray cat) to our panel vet for spaying, and if I could request, can everyone please pray for me?


Case No: 2
Two years ago, we had a panel vet in PJ, and along with the panel vet, at that time, I had “representatives” who were assigned to check on all cases (like what I do now, at our vets in Subang Jaya).


There was this case where a cat was sent to the vet in PJ for a regular spaying. That vet could not do the spaying that day, and postponed it to the next day. I did not know what happened since I trusted that the representative would take care of things, but I happened to go to the clinic the next day and found the cat still inside the small carrier she had come in. 


I asked the vet, and she said she did not have time to do the spaying the day before, so the cat would only be done on that day itself. But why isn’t the cat inside a cage if she had been left overnight at the clinic, and was she fed?


“Oh, never mind, they can go without water for more than a day”, she said nonchalantly. I was very upset and asked that I be allowed to at least give the cat some water (the cat has probably fasted for 36 hours by then). The vet said no, because she was going to do the operation that afternoon.


I asked the representative why he had not checked on the cat, and he said it wasn’t necessary.  


I went to the clinic right after the operation was done and the cat had awakened, and I took the cat back to the feeder myself. 


That done, I terminated our arrangement with that clinic with immediate effect (that is why we have no panel vet in PJ) and I told the representative we do not need his services anymore. 


If it had been an oversight on the part of the vet, I can accept it, but this was clearly a case of not caring for the animals under her because she said it was perfectly alright for a cat not to be given food and water for more than 1 day just because she could not carry out the surgery. AND the poor cat was left inside the small carrier she had come in. This kind of reminds you of the Pet Boarding Cruelty Case, doesn’t it? 


Now, two years down the road, the representative writes me an email and says he had consulted another vet who told him that cats can survive without water for more than one day and that I was erroneous in making a fuss in that particular incident two years ago where the cat had been kept fasted for more than 36 hours at the clinic.


Yes, I KNOW cats can survive more than 1 day without water. Heck, the Pet Boarding Cruelty Cats survived for NINE days without food and water, but remember, 16 or more died.  


So I asked him, humans can survive without water for four days, I was told, but would you say it is alright if you are hospitalised and the doctor does not give you water for four days? And why? Hey, don’t you know that humans can survive without water for four days? I’ll bet you’d sue the hospital for every cent it has made, won’t you?


Humans can speak for themselves; humans have relatives who can speak on behalf of them. Humans can hire lawyers to fight for their rights. Animal cannot speak. They have nobody to help them except those who believe they are entitled to be treated with love, respect and to be treated well.  


I would expect that a vet would at least feed the animal if she could not do the operation on the scheduled day. That’s what our other panel vets do. And ever since that frightful experience, I now check every case. If the animal, for some reason, cannot be done on the scheduled date, I would call the vet assistant to ensure the cat has been fed food and water. Fasting can start again at midnight, in time for the operation the next day. 


So now, a two year-old problem has resurfaced and the former rep is challenging me that I was wrong. Perhaps I was wrong….in choosing him as a rep!  


I’d prefer that we agree to disagree on this matter as I would never agree with what he says. It is not about whether a cat can survive for 1 day without water, it is about expecting a vet to act responsibly and do the needful to ensure the wellbeing of the cat. This is a vet’s clinic, for heaven’s sake.   


And that was Case No.2 for yesterday.


But I shall be optimistic for today and hope there is no follow-up from the challenging people of yesterday. 


Please pray for me?


Thank you.